I'm still here! I took a little time off to regroup because the last time I wrote I was in a pretty rough place. The dose of my antidepressant was increased and I am taking anxiety medicine proactively for the time being to help get me through this period. Covid life has been tough on all of us. I am lucky to still have my job and health, so when I look at the big picture I should be grateful. I am very grateful, but the change in what is "normal" for me has been challenging. Not seeing my loved ones when I want and where I want is challenging. Not being in a structured routine, despite my efforts to create one, is challenging. So, for me, in this moment, a boost in my meds is what I need. It isn't instantaneous, but after a few days I have noticed a difference. I feel more hopeful, more optimistic, and more motivated to complete tasks. I've taken walks, done yoga, meditated, and finished reading Open Book by Jessica Simpson.
During times when I am struggling and feeling especially triggered by the media, I try to shift my focus on my female role models I can see in the media. Some of my role models include: Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Jameela Jamil, Hannah Neese, Miranda Lambert, and Ashley Graham. I love these women because they are so unapologetically themselves. They are honest about body image, society pressures, and post photos that are not retouched to make themselves look smaller.
A few weeks ago I mentioned listening to Jameela Jamil's podcast called i-Weigh. Each week she interviews someone new and they have extremely honest conversations about mental health, body image, and the media. It comes out every Friday and it has become something that I really look forward to listening to. So far, my favorite episode was Demi Lovato's. I admire how open Demi has been with her mental health and that admiration only grew after listening to her episode. She talks about her battle with body image that I really identified with. The podcast does have strong language, so I don't recommend listening while children are around, but I do recommend listening!
At the end of each episode Jameela Jamil asks her guest "what do you weigh?" She by no means wants them to provide a number, she wants them to share what about them makes them special. So I thought I would give it a try today for myself.
I weigh a sister.
I weigh a daughter.
I weigh a friend.
I weigh girlfriend.
I weigh fur momma.
I weigh love.
I weigh compassion.
I weigh eating disorder recovery.
I weigh mental health awareness.
I weigh shy.
I weigh outspoken.
I weigh bravery.
I weigh determination.
I weigh dancer.
I weigh writer.
The things "i-Weigh" are what matter. It isn't quantitative. I am special because of what "i-weigh" not what a scale says I weigh. I am not a number and neither are you. You are you for all of the special qualities that make up the recipe of you. That is worth celebrating. Take a few minutes today to reflect on "What do you weigh?"
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Be gentle with yourself and others!
<3 Stay Strong and Beautiful!