Today has been the complete opposite of yesterday. It is so strange how quickly your attitude on life can change. Maybe it was the sunshine that brought me life today. Whatever it was, I wish I could bottle it up and give it to everyone. I feel wonderful, optimistic, and excited about life.
I woke up around 8:00, which anyone that knows me knows this is extremely early for me on a weekend. I jumped right out of bed and downstairs because today I was going to try making French Toast on my own for the first time. I had been researching recipes all week and I had decided on the perfect one. I read the recipe multiple times and I felt confident that I could produce a delicious breakfast. If you are wondering why this is such a monumental moment for me, I should let you know that cooking is NOT my strong suit. I am "domestically challenged." The kitchen is not a place where I feel confident. I live with a man who is extremely comfortable in the kitchen. He can take the most random ingredients and make a delicious meal with no recipe. I don't have that intuition in the slightest bit. If I am cooking I HAVE to have a recipe on hand. Anyway, I am always spoiled with delicious homemade meals and this morning I was going to contribute!
I pulled up my recipe, got all my ingredients out, and got started. I mixed together all my ingredients for the "batter" and it looked disgusting! The flour was all chunky and it looked more like a nasty yellow cottage cheese. If that doesn't paint a picture for you of how nasty this looked then I don't know what will! For a moment I was discouraged, but then I remembered something I read while studying the recipe, the author of the recipe said they sometimes put the mixture in the blender to make sure it is properly mixed! So I poured my chunky mixture in the blender and hit "liquify." Boom! Breakfast was back on track and my confidence was back. I knew I could do this! I gave the bread their little bath in the mixture and started them on the griddle. 2-3 minutes on each side and before I knew it I had made some delicious French Toast. It is so silly how much pride I felt after making breakfast, but I did!
After the adrenaline of a successful breakfast wore off I treated myself to a nap. I knew that later I would be trying out another new thing. In my search for purpose beyond my labels I decided I would dabble in baking. I had spent the week creating a special Pinterest board for "easy baking recipes." I had chosen soft lemon glazed sugar cookies. I love lemon flavored desserts!
Let's just say that recipe number two for the day was not as self fulfilling as the French Toast! I followed the steps exactly as they were on the recipe, but I ended up with 17 cookies that looked more like biscuits and a clear sticky glaze. When I took the cookies out of the oven my first thought was "you failed." But, I watch enough Nailed It to know that sometimes looks aren't everything when it comes to baking. After the cookies cooled I ate one. They tasted alright! They aren't the prettiest and look absolutely nothing like the Pinterest picture, but they are edible! Before allowing my mind to continue beating myself up for not producing a Pinterest perfect cookie I had to fact check myself.
The facts are:
1. I'm new to baking. I am still learning.
2. I don't have a fancy stand mixer, or even a hand mixer for that matter. How batter is mixed plays a huge role in baking. I did the best I could with what I had.
3. I didn't bake today with the intention of being perfect, my intention was to find out if it brings me joy, and it did! I felt very relaxed while I was in the kitchen measuring and mixing while listening to a body positive podcast.
After fact checking myself it was determined that recipe number two was a success after all.
I'm learning that I need to be open minded to try new things. I can't let the fear of failing prevent me from trying something. After all, anything you do takes practice, its never going to be perfect the first time. Instead of asking myself "Is it perfect?" I need to ask "Did it bring me joy?" Happiness is all that matters at the end of the day!
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<3 Stay Strong and Beautiful